Even Closer
by CadaveroInummera
Summary: Toshiro Hitsugaya loves Momo Hinamori so much, but he's afraid she won't return his affection. Does Momo view him as more than just a dear friend, or is Toshiro meant for someone else?
1. Quit Staring At Me

Toshiro Hitsugaya sat quietly at his desk, looking at the giant stack of papers he had been assigned with for tonight. Yamamoto seemed to think since he was the newest captain, that he should get assigned the most work. Toshiro didn't mind at first, but over the last few months, he had come under so much stress. He had almost went over the edge and dropped the captain's badge altogether after Rangiku had died. She had been a person he could talk to, and now she was gone. Toshiro almost felt like he was all alone, and for the first time, he had to honestly accept that he needed someone to talk with. A person immediately came to mind, but Toshiro shrugged it off in embarrassment. A knock on his office door quickly pulled him out of his state of deep thought.

"Come in." He said curtly, crossing his fingers over his desktop.

Toshiro was surprised to see Momo come charging in, looking extremely happy. _Funny...exactly the person I was thinking about. _

"Momo, what do you need?" Toshiro asked, trying to look serious.

Momo stopped in front of his desk and leaned over towards him, smiling.

"Toshiro, I'm your new lieutenant! Isn't it great!? I'll be able to see you a lot more. I miss spending time with you like we used to do. You remember right?" Momo said excitedly, looking at him with her blue eyes as she awaited his reaction.

"That's great Momo...now will you please leave me to my work?" Toshiro asked grumpily, grabbing a stack of papers and pulling them towards him.

"Well...aren't you excited? Toshiro...ever since we became shinigami, we have wanted to be in each others' squads." Momo said, looking a little disappointed at Toshiro's lack of reaction.

"Yes, Momo, I am excited, but I would be more excited if you helped me with this paperwork like a lieutenant is supposed to do." Toshiro replied without emotion.

"Well...of course Toshiro. This is a lot of work. I'd be glad to help." Momo said, taking a chair from the corner of his office and sitting it next to his.

As they began with the paperwork and started working through it, Toshiro gradually glanced at Momo out of the corner of his eye, and felt a strong pang of guilt. He hated treating her like that, but if he tried to take any other approach to a conversation with her, he wouldn't be able to talk to her at all. He'd be forced to tell her how he really felt, and that would kill him, because he wasn't ready. And he didn't think he ever would be.

He had to admit that he had always thought she was pretty. It wasn't until recently that he had really seen how beautiful she was. And now while he looked through the corner of his eye at her, he saw that beauty, and it made him feel like he wasn't alone anymore.

"Um...Toshiro...you're starting to creep me out by looking at me like that." Momo said, looking at him sideways as well.

"Oh...sorry, I was just trying to evaluate your performance, since I've given you your first task as lieutenant." Toshiro said, picking his words carefully.

"Well...am I doing a good job?" Momo asked.

Toshiro nodded and turned back to his work, thinking crazy thoughts.

_Dammit, I've put it off for so long...but I have to admit, I love this girl so much._

They continued to work, and Toshiro could only capture fleeting glances out of the corner of his eye at her. She was very pretty when she seemed to be thinking hard. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair and feel it, and more than ever he wanted to touch her.

"Toshiro, stop! You're just doing that to annoy me, aren't you!?" Momo asked, looking annoyed.

"No, Momo, just trying to make sure you're keeping up with your work!" Toshiro yelled defensively.

"Well...Toshiro...please, if you could, try not to do it? I get uncomfortable when people continually watch me work." Momo asked, writing her signature in flowing letters over a piece of paper and setting it down on the table.

"Fine, I won't. And from now on, call me captain Hitsugaya! Okay?"

"Yes sir, captain Hitsugaya." Momo replied, staring at him for another minute before returning to her work.

Toshiro let the corners of his mouth crease upward just slightly in a smile as he noticed the hint of mockery in her tone. He quickly put his serious expression back on and continued working, and kept from looking at Momo in fear he would latch his eyes onto her and she'd berate him again for it.

An hour passed, and he looked around at her to see her asleep, head resting on her shoulder, pen dropped from her hand onto the paper on the hard book in her lap. He definitely couldn't help smiling as he saw her sleeping there, looking so peaceful, and so beautiful. Gently, he picked her up in his arms, and walked her quickly to her quarters, where he sat her on her bed.

Before leaving, he smiled one last time at her sleeping form, and brushed a finger against her soft, smooth cheek, feeling the warmth. He admired her for a little bit longer, seeing the girl he wanted to tell so many things to, lying here before him.

"I love you." He said once, very quietly, before he slipped out of her quarters and slid the door shut behind her.


	2. One Who Smiles

Momo's alarm clock buzzed in her ear as her eyes shot open. She forced herself into a sitting position on the bed, staring around groggily at what appeared to be her bedroom. She was surprised to see that she was still in her shinigami robes, and then it came back to her. She was helping Toshiro with his paperwork and she must have fallen asleep. _He must have carried me back. How thoughtful of him. _She thought with a smile as she pulled herself out of bed.

She yawned and stretched so much she almost buckled under the pressure. Loose but still tired, she walked drowsily into the bathroom and analyzed her appearance in the mirror. She put on a disapproving look as she viewed her disheveled state. The clock on the bathroom counter read a quarter past twelve, so she had a few hours until she had to go on her first mission as the lieutenant of the tenth division.

She had received the mission papers as soon as the notice telling her she was the new squad ten lieutenant had arrived. She had been so happy that she could now see Toshiro more often that she had almost forgotten about it, but now that she remembered, she started to get butterflies in her stomach. She would be facing hollows, and from the mission description, there would be many of them.

_I shouldn't be so nervous...I'm the second strongest in my division. Hollows should be a piece of cake. And besides, Toshiro will be there, and he could face up to one hundred hollows all by himself. _She knew she wouldn't be going alone, but she was still nervous. She had never been on a mission of this magnitude, but the fact that Toshiro would be going calmed her nerves a bit.

Now that she thought of Toshiro, she did remember that he was acting rather strange last night. _He kept staring at me. If I hadn't known any better...I would have said he was...admiring me. But Toshiro wouldn't..._

_No way...Toshiro doesn't even seem like my friend anymore. He didn't even show any excitement when I became his second in command. He definitely hasn't changed since we were younger. _Momo shook the thought away and turned on the water for her shower. Toshiro couldn't possibly look at her that way...it just wasn't possible. _But...I guess...I did kind of like it when he was staring at me. _

Smiling, she slipped her shinigami robes off and slid into the shower, letting the warm water hit her and trying not to think about the upcoming mission. Despite her constant effort to bat thoughts of Toshiro away, they kept returning. _Maybe I should talk to him tomorrow about it, or maybe even after the mission. He has been terribly busy lately, so he might have time while we are resting up after the battle. But...maybe he'll just act like he always does, and not take it seriously. But...if he does have feelings for me...maybe he will want to talk._

After her shower, Momo took a fresh pair of shinigami robes out of her wardrobe and put them on, fastening them in all the right places. Picking up her zanpakto from the corner of her room, she strapped it on and opened her door to let the sun shine into the room, making up for the poor lighting. She let her eyes adjust to the sun and then smiled. She usually hated mornings, but the sun was shining so brilliantly on this one, she had a good feeling.

She walked confidently through the section of the Soul Society that housed all the shinigami, and greeted anyone she knew, and even some she didn't. She was cut off in the middle of greeting Hanataro when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She stopped and heard Toshiro's voice.

"Momo...I need to talk to you." He said, keeping his voice lower than he needed to.

He led Momo to his quarters, where he locked the door and took a seat on top of his desk. He motioned to a chair in front of the desk and Momo sat down. She was puzzled. _What could be so important that he would need to call me in here alone? Maybe it's about the mission..._

"Listen Momo...I have wanted to tell you something for a while. It's...it's not easy to say." He almost stammered, seeming as though he was struggling with a voice inside his head.

"Yes Toshiro? You can tell me anything you know." Momo told him, still looking curious.

"Momo...this mission will be dangerous. I want you to know that if I don't come back...that I...

"Captain Hitsugaya! Captain Hitsugaya! We need you immediately! Open up Captain!" A voice yelled from behind the door just as Toshiro was about to finish his sentence.

Toshiro leapt up from the desk and jogged to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Three other shinigami stood on the other side.

"What has happened? Is it an emergency?" Toshiro asked, looking from one man to the next.

"Yes! Captain Tosen has been found dead! They found his body...it was mangled. All the captains have been called to a meeting by Head Captain Yamamoto!" The lead shinigami reported.

"Captain Tosen?! But...how did...very well. I will come." Toshiro replied, starting to follow the three shinigami as they started walking in the direction of the incident. Before he followed them, he turned to Momo.

"Momo...be ready for the mission. I will be back."

Momo nodded her understanding and watched him until he was out of sight around a corner. She scratched her head and pondered over what Toshiro had wanted to tell her. _He seemed a little hesitant...actually he seemed very hesitant. I wonder...if he wanted to tell me that he...no, that wouldn't happen. _Even if it would have, Momo didn't know how she'd react. She didn't know if she loved him...she couldn't distinguish love from all the other emotions that were clouding her brain right now. _It's not good to think of these things before a mission. I don't even know if he really does have feelings for me. I'm such an idiot! _

Standing up, she walked slowly over to the door that led into Toshiro's bedroom, still brooding. Despite her mixed thoughts, she couldn't help but chuckle to herself as she thought about how he would react if he found her sneaking into his bedroom. She had a terrible urge to go through everything. She already knew Toshiro better than anyone else did, by far, but she just couldn't resist finding out more.

The bedroom was much larger than hers. Captains always got the best living areas. Toshiro's was equipped with his front office, his bathroom, bedroom, and sitting room, which had a fireplace. Momo couldn't help but be jealous. All she got was a bedroom and bathroom, and they weren't incredibly big, but still big now that she was a lieutenant, because she had received an upgrade.

The bed stood in the middle, against the right wall, mostly covered in fur blankets and soft pillows. It was very low and close to the ground. A wardrobe stood across from the bed, not very big, but wide. The whole room had a very mellow feel to it, and was very neat. _Toshiro never had a problem cleaning up._ She had to walk down two steps to reach the lower half of the room, which was decorated with plants, cabinets, and strangely colored rugs. At the far end of the room, and very wide had many pictures sitting on its surface.

Momo walked over to the stand and looked at each picture. She saw pictures of Toshiro, his friends, his family, group pictures, pictures of him flaunting his Captain robes around when he first attained the rank, and one more picture, that seemed to be placed above the rest. It was in a heart shaped frame, and it was very large. She smiled as she saw the picture taken of them so long ago, when she had hugged Toshiro and he hadn't hugged back. She looked so happy and he looked so annoyed, but it was there.

She stood back from the stand, and kept gazing at that picture. _Maybe...maybe he does..._

"Well...someone is being naughty."

Momo knew that mocking voice immediately, and turned to see Gin Ichimaru, the Captain of squad three, standing before her.

"Captain Ichimaru! I was just...I was...um...looking through a few things. Toshiro asked me to tidy the place up for him." She managed to say, going red and hoping the Captain wouldn't notice in the dim light.

"I see...well, your precious Toshiro wouldn't like it if he came back and found you trifling in his living quarters you know. I suggest you leave before he comes back." Ichimaru said in that so very casual voice.

"Yes Captain Ichimaru, I will. But...if I may ask...what are you doing here Captain?" She asked cautiously as she reached the door.

"That...squad ten lieutenant...is none of your business. But I guess I'll tell you...since I'm just a bleeding heart of generosity. I'm here to investigate Captain Hitsugaya's quarters and see if he holds any weapon that has a trace of the killing intent used to kill Captain Tosen. He is checking my quarters as well. We are all investigating each other." Ichimaru explained, turning around giving Momo a glimpse of his seemingly permanent smile.

"Oh...I see...well, I'll be going now." Momo said as she slipped out the door and back into Toshiro's office.

_He creeps me out every time I talk to him. _She thought as she shuddered once and then closed the door to the bedroom behind her. She didn't want to think about the possibilities. The possibility that Toshiro may love her, the possibility that he may have been the one who murdered Captain Tosen, and the possibility that he didn't love her at all. _Toshiro...he couldn't have. He would never do something like that. _She immediately dismissed that thought. She knew Toshiro too well to let that trouble her. It was the other two possibilities that filled her mind.

She had to admit to herself...the possibility that Toshiro felt something for her made something inside of her content, and she felt happy. But the third possibility seemed to darken her world. _Maybe...this is love._


End file.
